sometimes I’ll just be scrolling along my dash & I’ll see something & be like
holy shit what a great post
& then I’ll realize it’s my post
so then I’m like
alright good

I stopped wearing a watch
because I have bigger things to think about than what time it is
just kidding
but really though I stopped wearing a watch
because it’s summer
and watch tans are gross

can i just take a minute to say strong work to gotye and his ex-girlfriend for owning a record player
like, if they shared records then they must have had something to play them on
just saying, that’s pretty retro

driving (explicit content)

So, I took the liberty of recording my drive to & from school today, thinking I could listen to it & write down the awesome things I say & sing & yell while I drive by myself. Which will now prove why I drive by myself usually. Needless to say, I cuss a lot. Apologies in advance.

Why is it so hot
Oh balls that is some bright sunshine
Move you dumbass
No, please, you go, not like it was my turn or anything
My God could we go any slower
You could’ve made that light
Get off of my ass, please
Shitfuck, that was so unnecessary
That’s what makes you beautiful
Oh ewww you’re ugly
I’m going around you, grandpa
Signal, you douche
Ugh, fuck you
Really could you not
Make that make that make that ugh fuck you
Go faster or move
Whoa balls that’s a cop
This is the freeway why are we going fifty
Ugh I hate trucks
Ugh I hate cops
Ugh I hate you
Switch switch switch yeahhhh
Let me in, goddamnit
Really could you not
Oh hey you are very cute
Hey that looks like _______’s car
Oh shit is that _________
Oh, it’s okay
I’ve got the moves like Jagger
No seriously, I have the fucking moves like Jagger
Move Jagger, get out of my way
Excuse me, I need to exit
Let me in, you assface
Wow, could we be going any slower
It says right lane keep moving
Can you learn to read
Open your eyes
That is a yellow light
Okay, it’s time to go now
They’re turning
I’m gonna run you over
Excuse me, I have the right of way
We should switch cars
Ugh, I hate you so much
You’re the worst neighbors ever
You should just move away
Wow Dad could you park any further

Yeah, so that’s what it’s like to drive with me. Don’t worry though, I’m nothing at all like this around other people.

have you ever thought someone was so perfect and good looking that you wanted to bite their face

just to see what they taste like

or is that just me

I’m going to write.

At some point in this life of mine, I will write. I will write a book, novel, television show, short story, movie; I’ll write something. This is because I believe that certain interactions I have with everyday people are too “move-like” to not be written down.

Today, I was walking to Lot 30 to leave, because I was too excited. I had just finished my last lecture of Winter quarter, and I was so ready to be out of there.

As I started walking up the stairs, I danced merrily to One Direction as it played through my headphones. Don’t judge me.

The stairs to Lot 30 are very steep, so it’s broken into three subsequent levels, each of which are separated by three stairs. I was about to scale the final level and dance merrily to my car. What else would I do on such a glorious Friday?

Then this girl, don’t know her name because it’s not important, starts walking towards the stairs. She’s walking down them, coming towards the sidewalk that leads to school.

She’s doing something I do frequently, despite the fact that I find it highly dangerous: she’s texting while walking. I figured she knew where she was walking, and she’d handle the stairs as well as a normal human being.

She did not.

She tripped and fell down the three stairs, but fear not, she fell right into me. And while I may not be very strong, catching someone who falls into you is just like getting one of those dramatic movie hugs. The other person just isn’t expecting it.

She was incredibly embarrassed and apologized immediately. I laughed and said, “Are you okay? Those stairs should come with a warning: may cause falling.”

That was clever, right? I thought it was.

She must have, too, because she laughed. And she didn’t seem as embarrassed anymore, so I figured that it must have helped out at least a little bit. She thanked me and apologized a couple more times before we parted ways.

And as I walked to my car, I started thinking about different television shows or romantic comedies that could be started with the main boy and girl meeting in that exact manner.

There’s really no point in this post other than the fact that I need to state publicly that one day, I will write stories.

Whether you read them or not, is completely up to you.

But I’m going to write. Mark my words.