Like the beauty of the night sky, your love was just too big to stay
today my contact tore
& I knew it was ripped
but I couldn’t take it out because I needed to drive home still & stuff
long story short
I wore my contacts for twelve hours after I knew that my left one was ripped
tell me I don’t know pain
There are certain things that will make you feel worthy: compliments, love, friendship, and time. People often claim to be “in love” far too early these days, in my opinion. Especially in terms of age. I’m not saying that teenage relationships don’t last; on the contrary, they frequently last longer than most people expect. And I’m not saying that you can’t meet someone when you’re sixteen and fall madly in love with them. In fact, I can think of a couple I know of whose relationship is stronger than most believe would have imagined. They show me that long distance relationships can work. Relationships can work. But a decision must be made by both parties who enter into the aforementioned relationship. Both people have to agree that the other person is worth it. In my opinion, that’s what it takes to make a relationship work in this day and age. You have to be willing to remember, even on the worst days, that you want this person. Remind yourself on a daily basis that you are so lucky to have them. Remember how much you wanted them, how you pined for them and hoped for a chance; but most importantly, remember why. You have to make a conscious effort to be in a relationship; give them your all. Don’t have someone on the side, don’t have someone you flirt with for fun, don’t give the person you’re in a relationship anything but all of you. That’s what they signed on for; not the scraps, not the leftovers, not the filth that comes crawling in after a night of drinking; they wanted all of you. If all of you is the aforementioned “filth”, I apologize; but give them nothing less than all of you. Too many people, in my opinion, rush into relationships, just to be in a relationship. They feel a desire to be a part of something bigger than themselves.
I, myself, and guilty of this. I wanted to be in a relationship; to have someone by my side at the end of the day, and to have someone who I could share every detail of my life with. But the problem was that it wasn’t the type of relationship I’ve described above.
Sometimes, people aren’t ready for everything. Sometimes, you don’t have enough of yourself to give in a relationship to make it work. I am guilty of both of these qualities. That’s why I’m still single: because I’m supposed to be. I refuse to give anything less than all of me to someone, that’s who I am. Even if I don’t receive all of you, I’ll give you everything.
And I realize now that the reason I am still completely single is because that’s how it should be. I don’t want a relationship that has me worrying about it when I fall asleep. I want the kind that makes me wish my dreams could be as good as I have it when I’m awake.
My advice to you, even if you’re not asking for it, is to wait until you’re ready to be in a relationship. Wait until you can handle giving everything. Wait until you have everything. Don’t give someone scraps. But be wary; don’t give everything if it isn’t time to. All that will leave you with is a shattered heart, a broken soul, a weak mind, and an incredibly long post on Tumblr about how relationships should be.
"Toscanini once recorded a piece sixty five times. You know what he said when he finished?
“It could be better."
Dreams are always one of two things. Sometimes, they are life giving us a glimpse of the greatness that lies in the future. And sometimes, they are life taunting us with what will never be.