my mind is a demon of its own

(Source: spiritualinspiration, via mintaraley)

“don’t judge someone because they sin differently than you”

this is like the most said / reblogged thing among this small community of people in which I find myself associated

the only problem is that this applies not just to sins, but to all actions

the point of this saying isn’t to get people off someone else’s back for sinning

it’s to point out that everyone sins, everyone is human

everyone makes mistakes, no one is exempt

that’s the whole point

you have to forgive people, even when they’re not worthy of it

otherwise the animosity and the hatred builds up

and hate is baggage (AHX)

personally, I think we’ve all got enough to carry already

so I just realized how often I reblog wedding photos
I mean, granted I follow a blog specifically dedicated to Indian weddings, but a vast majority of what I post is related to weddings
I mean, I even have a tag that I can actually use for future reference for “wedding”
honestly, I should probably change the tag to say “I swear I’m straight”
& the title of my blog should be “Trust me, I like girls.”

so I don’t know how to make something “read more” on the tumblr app, which means I’ll probably just have to make this super lengthy looking so nobody reads this.
& in order to avoid people getting curious about something my mom said, I’ll censor some words here & there. inbox me if you care to know them, but I’m not holding my breath.
but basically, i stayed up past one both last night & the night before talking to my mom about a lot of different things.
somehow my mom & I always end up talking about relationships & my recent lack of relationships. that doesn’t concern her much but she does mention that it’s been a very, very long time since I’ve shown interest in a girl. she always mentioned that it’s been a really long time since I’ve been _____.
& the sad part is that it’s actually true. I mean, I haven’t been _____ since ___________. & even then, there was a whole ____ between graduation & the time I was _____.
long story short, my mom basically said that I’m like dr. Jekyll & mr. Hyde.
I don’t know, I guess that’s not a very big deal. but literary allusion aside, it’s kind of a big thing. I know my mom worries that I’ll get _________, which is basically a downside of telling her that I was before. but it’s kind of a sad thing when your mom says that you’re basically _____ & _________. I don’t know, but it makes me wonder if maybe I am _________.
all I know is that at this point in time, my mom knows me best (as sad as that is). & that she’s right. so now I just need to figure out what to do with that

birthday cards

I honestly cannot stand birthday cards. Store bought birthday cards, that is. I would much prefer some homemade card that looks ridiculous than a card that you could’ve popped into the grocery store & picked up on thirty seconds. I mean, if they’re like my mom & they’re gonna write me a long, heartfelt essay inside the card, it’s fine. But I cannot stand getting a birthday card where all they wrote is, “Nathaniel,” & then at the end of the giant card message they write “Your Friend, Seamus” or whatever. Honestly, the best “cards” anyone can give me is a handwritten letter. On blank or notebook paper or on a sticky note, for all I care. Just give me something that shows that you though enough about me to write something with your own hands. The best gift anyone could ever give me is to write me a story. If you’re gonna do that, write it or type it, it’s up to you. But if you’re gonna give me cash or a gift card or something, please don’t just hand me a hallmark card. I’ll end up lowkey hating the cash or whatever. The best gift I’ve ever gotten was a handwritten letter that they wrote about who I was; they gave me other things as part of it, but I much preferred the note. I put it in my wallet & carried it with me. I don’t know if this is unpopular opinion or what, but that’s my two cents.

if you could

do me a favor & read something for me
something I wrote (I started writing it in line at Disneyland waiting for Alice in Wonderland)
please let me know & I’d love to email it to you
because I’ve never written anything of this nature
& I haven’t the slightest idea how it turned out
I’m not even sure if I like it
so I want feedback
& if you’d like to, just let me know
K thanks

welcome to the red dress gala

today was quite fun. honestly one of the more eventful days I’ve had in the longest time. yesterday was great too: saw both Wreck-It Ralph & Warm Bodies (both of which I recommend) with Victoria so that was fun. today was a day of new, though. so I woke up & dragged my lazy ass out of bed because Sherlene needed me to go to church to pick up my ticket for the red dress gala that was tonight. so I decided to shave for the first time in two weeks. that doesn’t sound like much but that’s the longest I’ve gone in this country without shaving. (I went two weeks & two days without shaving during my Africa trip) & then I went to church & got the ticket; wore my new tie. picked up Taco Bell for the family on the way home. then we watched all the TV shows we had from the past few days: person of interest, glee, & suits. love all three of them & I’m not ashamed to admit it. then I had to get ready for the gala. I knew what I was wearing, I spent a lot of time in the last few weeks getting psyched for it. black suit, the original. black shirt, bought new from h&m. red tie, bought new on valentine’s day. my new watch that I finally broke in. it was exciting. I realized my suit needed to be lint rolled, but we don’t have one. so I was inventive & used eight or nine strips of packaging tape to remove the lint. got all dressed up & then I went to pick up Risha. Sherlene gives the worst directions ever so the two of us had to wing it. we found the place, no help to Sherlene or either of our iPhones, & we went in. long story short, it was a lot of fun. we sat with one of Sherlene’s sisters & that sister’s brother, along with some of hers & Risha’s high school friends, & some strangers. I felt bad for her sister & that sister’s brother because they were just kind of chatting with themselves. so when Risha & Sherlene’s friends came, I shifted them over & sat next to the sister & her brother. because I love me some talking to strangers because why not, I’m a pretty talkative guy. homeboy (the brother) was twenty six & a nurse. definitely a smart guy. homegirl (the sister) was eighteen & pre-nursing. both were Romanian & seemed a little concerned at how interested in them I was. they seemed to warm up to me by the end of the night, though; three hours with me will do that I guess. homeboy was picking on his sister with me (because I’m not a very nice guy, but I’m always joking) by the end. & apparently I have a very obnoxious tone of voice because homegirl was referring to me as “smart ass” by the end of the first hour. granted, they didn’t know my name until almost nine thirty (it ended at ten) but it’s all good. Sherlene pulled an awkward maneuver & texted my phone (which was sitting on the table) to ask if homegirl was hitting on me. I said I didn’t think so, because she wasn’t. she was just being friendly. I’m not one of those people who assumes all girls who talk to me are trying to get at me. that’s ridiculous. I don’t remember how, but homegirl & I somehow got on the topic of photographs & Instagram. I told her I only really take pictures of my outfits because I think that’s the best thing about the way I look. I take great pride in the way I dress. & she said, “really, why is that?” & I did what I do best & responded to her question with a question. so I said, “what do you not like my outfit? I think it’s pretty nice.” & then she stated, “I think you look adorable.” to which I think she had a brief moment of panic because most people either get super awkward or get super OH HEYYYY when someone says that. I am neither, but homegirl didn’t know that. so she corrected herself & tried to turn the word “adorable” into “adorably” but it was painfully obvious. I didn’t make a big deal of it & allowed her to say, “I think you’re adorably dressed.” the full sentence was repeated after she realized she called me adorable. I don’t know if she meant to or if it really was just a slip of the tongue, but compliments are always nice. she took a picture with me (a picture that I will more than likely never see) because she wanted a picture with her “smart ass” because apparently that’s who I was. but then her brother left & I didn’t see her after that. no worries, all’s well that ends well. no harm, no foul. I had a wonderful time at the red dress gala & I made a couple of friends, even if I’ll never see them again. I’m not mad. it was fun. special thanks to Sherlene for not only inviting me but also for paying for my ticket. love ya, twin.
Artesia bound tomorrow, more than likely. no school Monday. HYFR. blessed. always. regardless.

you know those couples where someone is so much more attractive than the other person that everyone is always like, “damn how did [he/she] get [her/him]”
(although I always think that it’s “how did he get her” just because I think that female humans are the prime specimen of perfection)
well, it is a goal in my life to be in one of those couples where everyone looks at us & says “holy shit she’s way too good looking for him”
because I honestly think that that could happen
I think I could end up with someone who’s way too attractive for me
and I was kind of hoping that she might be you

Facebook always sends those emails with the subject line
“You have more friends than you think…”
and I’m here like umm no
no I do not