There are times when I
Feel like giving up on this
But then I see you

Thank you for your love
Helping me be who I am
You gave me my soul

Our love is magic, a force of the universe. Call it gravity.

Nostalgic Dreamscapes.

So, a friend of mine asked me to write about what it’s like to fall asleep. But he wanted it to be free verse and as romanticized as possible; I usually hate using colorful language, and I feel like it’s beyond random. But, if you’d like to read, I would love feedback.

As I lay here, in bed,
Awaiting the unimagined dreams of a familiar slumber,
My thoughts meander
And my mind slips into euphoria:
A sort-of dreamscape existence
Filled with the sensation of clouds
And the smell of fresh raindrops.
Mistake not my location for an absence of consciousness,
Rather a hyper-awareness of being
Mixed with the kaleidoscope of my memory
And the sweet taste of bittersweet nostalgia,
Like that of honey or whipped cream
Or the taste of someone you’ve never forgotten.
Imagine with me, now, with our eyes closed in the dark
And let your imagination run free
Through the fields of our memories,
As we skip through the grass of our love
And pick the flowers of our brief time together.
Time,
Like the hands of the clock
On the face of the watch
Placed on a strap
Attached to your wrist,
Freezes for a moment as we slip into yesterday.
Something more comfortable
Like the days we spent together,
Our time here is short
So let us savor the moment and breathe it all in:
Inhale the aroma,
The scent of our days
Filled with our mischief
And lost in your eyes;
Exhale the poison,
Everything lost in the fire,
The infernos of our misguided angst and doubt
That did eventually set the field of our passion
Ablaze in the night,
Merely ash by the morning.
But it is far from dawn now
So we shan’t worry or stray;
Instead, lay here with me
In the midst of our madness,
A simple stroll through the meadows
Of everything we shared.
Errands and duties we embarked on
Changed immediately into undeniable quests
Filled with ghouls, ghosts, and goblins,
A demonic troll with a bridge and a gate,
And a lock with a key that only we could open together;
Mythic or not,
No matter the occasion
If we departed together
We regretted nothing.
A walk through the sun,
It’s surface ablaze with the heated eyes
And whispers and stares
And glares and smirks
And mocking and rumors
Of those around us,
Jealous, simply, because of what we were
That they were not
And what we had
That they possessed no knowledge of.
A freedom we owned,
Co-founders, patent pending,
That they wished they could believe in
Like the old folklore from Ireland:
Leprechauns and rainbows
With a pot of gold at the end;
Neither of those did we need,
Finding all the magic necessary
Within the company of each other.
Stay with me still, as we travel back further,
Venturing beyond the surface
And diving deep
Into the pools of our mystery
The depths no one could fathom
Sharing oxygen together to remain at such places.
Look out beyond us,
With the handwritten scribbles
And badly drawn sketches on coffee shop napkins,
Past the balloons and the cake
And the signs on the window,
Through the field and the fountains,
Beyond the sand and the shoreline:
See where we are now
As a full-screen portrait.
Landscape it, fully,
In high-definition color as the myriads of pallets
And brushstrokes collide.
Breathe it in slowly
Savoring slowly each molecule,
As we open our eyes to the wreckage we left here:
A sunken ship on the shoreline,
Brought in with the tide;
Three chests full of treasure, in between the mermaids
And the talking crustaceans;
That leprechaun dancing with your fairy-godmother,
Over there, in front of the dragon and the phoenix;
the Pegasus and the serpent,
Playing tag with the satyr;
And all of the other unreal possibilities
That we left in our wake.
Our history will be studied,
If not by us then
By those members of the generations to come
Who search for the method in
The madness of love,
On a quest for the answers
And the how-to guide
Of writing an unprecedented love story
Unlike any other before or after,
In the absolute chaos and
Pandemonium of reality.
They search for a romance
Even close to ours,
Hoping and praying to study it
Like a science;
A science, in fact,
Is exactly what we shall bequeath it.
For like that of Avogadro and Planck
And Curie and Kelvin,
Our relationship and all other
Stories we wrote
Were based on a simple science of living
And loving and being
A friendship and bond
Founded on the same thing that
Scientists devote their lives to explain.
A simple utterance
That all wish to define,
But we defined completely
With mere interaction with each other;
Something we possessed naturally
That most claim, though artificial,
A casual bond
That we may still have
Lying in our minds,
Burning free through the depths of our dreamscapes:
Chemistry.

I am not afraid of the demons and ghouls, the spirits and frights

Who walk through the streets and only come out at night;

Who hide in the closet or live under my bed,

But I’m terrified of the ones who run free in my head.

I do this thing a lot
Where I look at something & then wonder to myself, “What the hell are you doing?”
Because I’m not that guy
Or rather, I’m not “this guy”
The one I come across as
These days, at least
Because I used to be this person
That believed in everything
And believed in myself
And the things I could accomplish
Based on the person I am
But I realize now,
That I was wrong
Because I’m not longer I was
Instead I’m now who I am
All on a count of the fact
That the person I was
Was killed by the person I wanted to be
Oh the irony
Watch as it engulfs me
And leaves everything that I am
Represented in the sand
Nothing

I hate who I am
The person I have become
Why am I like this?

I believe in you
Open your eyes and see it
Be proud of yourself

There once was a day
That you told me you loved me
You’re so full of shit

You and I were once
Two souls united as one
And now we are not